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After the Death of a Spouse: 10 Things to Do BEFORE You Start Dating

November 12, 2024

1.   Slow down and commit to investing some time in getting ready to date. A little preparation work will help you protect your safety, have a more pleasurable dating experience, and possibly avoid heartbreak.


2.   Start a list of what you are looking for in a relationship. Do you want another marriage? Do you want a movie and dinner partner? Take your time with this step. Make your list, let it marinate for a while, and then go back and review what you wrote and add or subtract as needed. Consider sharing your list with your counselor, clergy person, or a trusted friend. This is a very important step. If you don’t know what you want … you are unlikely to get what you need. 


3.   What are your absolute deal breakers? This should be a short list but significant because if they are deal breakers, you’ll have to break the deal (a.k.a. stop seeing this person) if even one of them happens. Hopefully they will not, but if they do, you’ll be tempted to rationalize them away. And just so you know, if it’s there, it’s never going to not be there. A gambler will be a gambler, a smoker will be a smoker, one who lies will always lie. Asking for your money, for any reason, should absolutely be a dealbreaker.


4.   Do your safety research especially if you are going to participate in on-line dating. BE VERY CAREFUL. There are trolls on all social media sites looking to scam vulnerable people. Use only vetted dating sites. Make sure someone knows where you are going to meet, pick a public place, and don’t give out your home address.


5.   Now that you know why you want to begin to date, what you are hoping for, what you are not going to tolerate and how you will protect your safety, it might be a good time to share your intention to date with the kids. If they know what you are looking for and how you will protect yourself, they just might be more supportive of your dating adventure.

6.   As you get to know the new person, be gentle. If it’s not a deal breaker then it’s just something to lean in to. Unless it is something that scares you, then it should have been a deal breaker!


7.   Don’t be afraid to try new things. Don’t be afraid to introduce your new person to activities you enjoy.


8.   Keep an eye on YOU. Do you like how you are changing? Do you like how you are feeling? You should love yourself more in a good relationship.


9.   Maintain a comfortable pace. If the person you are dating is moving too fast or too slow for you, speak up.


10. Finally, enjoy. Remember every step of the journey … is the journey.



www.bisslerandsons.com

What Are Burial Vaults and Grave Liners and Why Do I Have to Buy Them?

February 4, 2025
When saying goodbye to someone you love, you have a multitude of decisions to make. Some you might be prepared for, while other questions are new to you. One topic that many people are unfamiliar with is the concept of burial vaults and grave liners, which you may have to have in your loved one’s final resting place.

Food and Funerals: The Comfort of Sharing a Meal

February 4, 2025
Food not only nourishes the body but also comforts the soul, making it a significant part of funeral traditions. Offering food signifies care and supports the healing journey during such tough times.

Understanding Funeral Costs: A Guide to Planning with Care

January 8, 2025
When the time comes to think about funeral arrangements, one of the first questions many of us have is, "How much will it cost?" It’s natural to look for a straightforward answer during such an emotionally charged time. However, much like finding the perfect car, the cost of a funeral varies widely depending on personal choices and specific needs.

What Is the Purpose of Embalming?

January 8, 2025
Embalming can be a controversial topic. Some people are opposed to it, whether due to personal or religious reasons, but for others, embalming is an important part of starting their grief journey and getting a chance to say goodbye to the person they love.

Dressing for a Funeral: Comfort, Respect, and What to Wear

January 8, 2025
Attending a funeral is one of those things that makes everyone pause, not just because of the emotional weight, but also the big question: "What do I wear?" Let’s discuss.

Embracing Family in Funeral Planning

January 8, 2025
When it comes time to say goodbye to a loved one, the focus of the funeral often naturally falls on the family. It's the people who loved and knew the deceased best—spouses, children, grandchildren, friends, and even coworkers—who come together to remember and honor their life.

What’s the Difference Between a Family and Community Columbarium?

December 3, 2024
When people lose a loved one, many take comfort in knowing that there’s a place they can go to be with them. Cemeteries offer a location where loved ones can gather to be with those who are no longer with them in everyday life. In many ways, choosing to be buried or interred in a cemetery is a gift for those still living as it gives them a place to find you, knowing that you’re never really too far away.

When Someone Dies, Someone Else Feels Lonely

December 3, 2024
The loneliness that accompanies the death of someone we care about is complex and individual. For those who, for many years, woke every morning alongside a husband or wife, it is strange to open your eyes and realize you’re alone. In the early days of grief, the void that is left when a life partner dies can feel like a black hole with no way out.

I’m Lonely: When is Too Soon to Start Dating?

November 12, 2024
The answer to this question depends on who you ask. Queen Victoria famously mourned Prince Albert by wearing black for the remainder of her life, forty years. The fictional character Scarlet O’Hara in the novel Gone With the Wind scandalized her peers by dancing with a bachelor at a charity event while “still in black.”

Make Sure the Tough Days Are Covered

November 12, 2024
Supporting a friend who is grieving requires staying power. In the first few weeks and days following the funeral, our thoughts are full of our friend. But often, as the weeks become months, our friend’s need is less acute, and our own routine calls us. We forget.
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