Join to see when we post new obituaries

Your email will not be used for any other purpose and will not be shared. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Do I Have to Go to the Funeral?

Aug 02, 2024

Despite the word “fun” appearing in the word “funeral,” they’re typically not associated with one another. Funerals are typically more somber affairs. Grief is a frequent guest at these ceremonies. It can feel heavy to attend a funeral. But going to a funeral may help you in the long run. And it shows care, love, and support for both the decedent and those who loved them.

Do you have to go to the funeral?

If someone asks you to attend a funeral, you should generally do your best to go. There are two major reasons why you should attend a funeral: your respect for the decedent and your respect for their grieving loved ones. Funerals serve many different purposes. One of the biggest ones is that it honors the life of the decedent. To attend a funeral is to cherish their memory.

But another reason we go to funerals is to offer our support and condolences to those who loved the person who passed. For those people, it’s incredibly meaningful to see friends, colleagues, and other people whose lives were touched by their loved one come out to say goodbye. Especially if you know the family and close friends of the person who passed, you should do your best to support them in the wake of their loss. And one of the most significant ways to show support is by showing up to the funeral, which is often a difficult day for them. Although you should continue to show how much you care even once the funeral comes to an end, being there on the day of the funeral is a wonderful place to start.

Attending a funeral is also for you. If you were close to the person who passed, going to the funeral can help you to feel a bit of closure regarding their passing, which can help you to start the grieving process. You’ll have the opportunity to say a final goodbye, and you’ll find comfort in being surrounded by others who will miss them.

You may think that the decedent’s family and friends won’t miss you at the funeral, but people tend to remember who came out to say goodbye to their loved one. Especially if you are close to the decedent’s immediate family or their close friends, you should make a point of attending the funeral, as well as the additional services that may be held. Even if you have to arrange travel in a short amount of time to cover a great distance, you should try to be there for the people you love.

Is it ever okay to miss the funeral?

Sometimes, it’s just not possible to attend a funeral you’ve been asked to attend or want to attend. Because funerals often have to be planned in a short amount of time, you might not be able to take time off work, find sitters or child care, or organize travel to get to the funeral in time. You may not live near the person who passed, making it all the more difficult to attend the funeral. Illness may play a factor in why you can’t go as well.

There are many valid reasons why you may not be able to go to a funeral, and most people will be understanding of your situation. In cases when you can’t attend, the best thing to do is to find a way to reach out to the decedent's family to let them know you can’t be there and to send them your condolences. You should consider sending a thoughtful card alongside a gift, such as a flower arrangement or care package, to give the family your well wishes and support.

In some cases, you may choose not to attend a funeral even if you’re physically able to. Perhaps you had a falling out with another member of the decedent’s family. Your presence may be upsetting to someone who is already grieving. In that case, it may be kinder to skip the funeral, but you should still send a card or gift to share your condolences.

You’ll also have to miss the funeral if the service is private. Sometimes, families choose to have other services, like viewings and visitations, that are public, but they decide that the funeral itself should just be for close friends and family. If you’re aware of additional events, try to attend them if you’re able. If you can’t participate in these events or if the family chooses not to hold them, you should still consider sending a card or gift when the funeral is private.

Funerals offer a chance for people to grieve together and find support in one another. It means a great deal to the family and friends of someone who passed to receive that support and to see that their loved one affected the lives of so many people. Especially if you were close to the decedent or their immediate family and friends, you should always do your best to attend the funeral. But when that’s just not possible, you should reach out and offer your condolences in another way. A funeral is a meaningful occasion, and when you’re asked to attend, you should not take that invitation lightly. You’re wanted there. And it would mean a lot if you came.

www.bisslerandsons.com

Bissler & Sons Funeral Home and Crematory has served families in Kent, Ohio, and all of Portage County since 1913. The company transitioned ownership in 2018 when Rick Bissler retired and arranged to merge his family’s funeral home with the Billow family’s funeral homes, who carry on the tradition of high quality funeral, burial, memorial and cremation services. Their privately owned and operated crematory ensures that loved ones never leave their professional care. Visit bisslerandsons.com to learn more.

< Older Post Newer Post >

How Can We Honor Our Family Member Who Died and Keep the Holiday Celebratory?

30 Oct, 2024

There are those people in our lives who we connect with on certain holidays. When we think of Christmas, Hanukkah, or the 4th of July, this person comes to mind. It might be the cookies they baked, the blessing they said, or the fireworks show they were known for. Regardless of what they did, it is difficult to imagine the holiday without this person. Celebrating the holiday, especially for the first time, following their death can be hard. The goal is not to lose the celebratory nature of the holiday in the void created by the death of the person we loved. It is to incorporate the memory into the celebration of the holiday.

What Should Be Included in a Funeral Program?

26 Oct, 2024

There are so many aspects of putting together a funeral that it’s easy to overlook some things. But every element of funeral planning is vital for different reasons. One often-overlooked component is the funeral program.What exactly is a funeral program?And what do you find in one? What is a funeral program? Funeral programs serve the essential purposes of giving attendees information about the service and of being a tangible memento that honors the life of the decedent. These programs may be the size of one sheet of paper, a card, or a larger booklet. Most often, they are provided to funeral attendees either when they enter the room where the service will be held or placed on the seats before the guests arrive. What goes in a funeral program? Funeral programs can be as unique as the service itself, but there is a general order to what goes into these pages. Here’s what you may find in a funeral program: 1. A cover honoring the decedent The cover of a funeral program often consists of the name of the person whose life is being honored, a photo of them, and the years of their birth and death. Making a cover this way makes it clear whose service guests are attending. However, a cover may also consist of other elements that show more of the decedent’s personality. For instance, a funeral program’s cover may also have one of the decedent’s most beloved quotes, poems, prayers, or song lyrics. Just as an obituary doesn’t have to have a somber tone if the decedent was known for their humorous personality, it’s fitting to make the funeral program show off that personality. The cover is a good place to set that tone. 2. The obituary Within the pages of a funeral program, it’s customary to find the decedent’s obituary. Although you may have previously shared the obituary on your funeral home’s website, a website dedicated to obituaries, social media, local newspaper, or other locations, writing it in the funeral program helps to immortalize that spirit of your loved one. 3. Service information Because a funeral program is a memento of the service, it should include the service information. You’ll want to write the date, time, and location of where the funeral is being held. 4. Order of service As the name suggests, the order of service is the order in which the events of the service will be held. Some events may include the introduction, prayers, readings, musical performances, eulogies, additional speeches, and closing remarks. If you’re having a religious service, you may want to talk to a religious leader to ensure that your order of service fits the traditional funeral ceremony performed by that religion. For example, traditional Catholic funerals do not include a eulogy. Whether you’re holding a religious ceremony or not, you should also talk to your funeral director to make certain that you know the proper order of the service before writing the program. Alongside each element of the order of service, you should also write who is leading that portion of the service. 5. Where to find prayers, hymns, and scripture readings If you’re holding a religious service, you should include in the funeral program where to find prayers, hymns, and scripture readings. Doing so allows the guests to read and sing along when the time arrives. Especially if you’re expecting a large service, it may be hard for some guests to hear the officiant. By providing directions to where to find the readings, no guest will have to worry about missing important information. 6. Song or hymn lyrics Similarly to why you would provide where to find readings, you may want to write the lyrics to songs or hymns that you may wish the funeral-goers to sing along to. If anyone is unfamiliar with these songs or hymns, they will be grateful you provided the lyrics. Even if guests don’t sing along, these songs were chosen to be a part of the funeral for a reason. It’s meaningful for guests to be able to study those lyrics, which were important to the decedent or hold great significance. 7. Pallbearers and flower bearers While the names of the eulogists, singers, and other speakers will be included in the order of service, you may also want to share the names of the pallbearers and flower bearers in the funeral program. If you do choose to write them, you should remember to also include anyone who is an honorary pallbearer or flower bearer. 8. Additional service information If there’s a committal service or reception after the funeral, you should also share directions and information about these services. You should write when and where they will be held, as well as any additional pertinent information.