Join to see when we post new obituaries

Your email will not be used for any other purpose and will not be shared. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Want to Prevent a Family Squabble? Preplan and Prepay for Your Own Funeral

Aug 16, 2024

There will come a day when we physically can no longer be here for the ones we love. It can be hard to think about this time, but it’s something every person understands is an inevitability. Knowing that day is coming can mean many questions about the legacy you want to leave behind and the holes that will be created when you’re gone. You may have been a peacekeeper for your family, the one who is always keeping people together. But how can you do that when you’re no longer with them?

When you preplan and prepay for your funeral, you’re making a choice to prevent a family squabble, keeping your family together during one of their most challenging moments. Let’s take a look at the differences preplanning and prepaying make.

How Do Preplanning and Prepaying Prevent a Family Squabble?

1. You’re giving your family a blueprint of what you want your funeral to be like.

Preplanning your funeral, even without prepaying, is a gift. When it comes to planning a funeral, many different people may be involved. Although only one person can be the primary decision-maker that the funeral home refers to for guidance, you may have several family members who want to make major choices. What happens if one person wants a more secular funeral while another is expecting a religious service? Or what if multiple family members insist that they’ll be one to make the eulogy? Or perhaps someone wishes their loved one to be cremated while another is planning a burial. These differing ideas become formulas for a fight.

By preplanning your funeral, you’ll have already made those decisions. Those opposite points of view can spiral into a bigger argument, but not if you’ve made your own desires known. Even if some members of the family still have ideas of how to do things differently, your family will ultimately want to honor your wishes. There will be less space for a fight to develop because you’ve given them the blueprint to your funeral and final disposition. Though there may be some additional decisions to make, your family’s main concern will be enacting your wishes the way you laid them out for them. While they’re focused on following your plans, there will be fewer opportunities for disputes to develop.

2. You’re preventing your family from having to worry about paying for the funeral you want.

Ultimately, the person who passed’s estate is responsible for taking care of the cost of a funeral and final disposition. Nevertheless, it can fall to families to figure out how to make the proper payments. Payment for a funeral is always due at the time of the funeral. Unfortunately, finances are a common source of disagreement among families, and finances for a funeral are no different. Prepaying for a funeral can make those concerns and potential arguments disappear.

While preplanning a funeral is a gift in and of itself, there can sometimes be a misalignment of monetary abilities and funeral expectations. And your family may end up in a squabble as they try to fulfill your wishes without the proper funds. By funding your own funeral, you’re ensuring that they can enact your plans just as you wish, but without having to worry about whether or not they can afford what you’d like to happen.

3. You’re giving your family time and space to grieve without worry.

Hundreds of decisions must be made regarding a funeral and final disposition. For many people, that can feel like a lot of pressure. And though funeral directors will do their best to guide a family through making the right decisions for themselves and their loved ones, fights can emerge from the stress of the decision-making process. In the days following your passing, you don’t want your family to have to spend their time arguing with each other about the details of your funeral. It’s better for them to use that time to grieve in peace.

Families often worry about whether they’re making the right choices when it comes to a loved one’s funeral planning. Without a blueprint to lead them through the funeral planning, they may have concerns about whether they’re creating the funeral that you wanted. Those kinds of thoughts can devolve into fights as multiple family members may believe that the family is making the wrong choices. Rather than waste time worrying, your loved ones will have a more manageable and less stressful experience with funeral planning if you’ve preplanned. They’ll have more time to simply grieve their loss.

4. You’re letting your family spend their time supporting each other rather than fighting each other.

Because these fights can emerge through funeral planning together, families can end up spending their time together at odds rather than supporting one another. Losing a loved one triggers the start of a difficult time. Each of your family members may grieve differently, but many people feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness when they lose someone that they love. Loneliness is a common sign of grief, and one of the best ways to combat it is to not isolate yourself. Unfortunately, isolation can happen when squabbles keep family members separated.

By preplanning and prepaying for your funeral, you’re making these arguments less likely to happen. And by making these fights less likely to happen, you’re preventing your family from having to experience isolation while they’re dealing with the formidable presence of grief. After losing a loved one, family members and friends often experience acute grief, the period when grief may be so difficult to overcome that it interferes with everyday life. This period usually lasts the first few months after a loss, making it all the more crucial that the time immediately after a loved one’s passing is spent with compassion and camaraderie rather than fights.

Preplanning and prepaying for your funeral and final disposition may not remove all opportunities for potential arguments after your passing, but it does help limit them. You want your family to be able to grieve and support each other, but that can be tough to do when they’re at odds over the choices regarding your funeral. But if you give your family a blueprint for your funeral, the time after your passing can be spent together, when they can grieve in peace.

www.bisslerandsons.com

Bissler & Sons Funeral Home and Crematory has served families in Kent, Ohio, and all of Portage County since 1913. The company transitioned ownership in 2018 when Rick Bissler retired and arranged to merge his family’s funeral home with the Billow family’s funeral homes, who carry on the tradition of high quality funeral, burial, memorial and cremation services. Their privately owned and operated crematory ensures that loved ones never leave their professional care. Visit bisslerandsons.com to learn more.

< Older Post Newer Post >

How Can We Honor Our Family Member Who Died and Keep the Holiday Celebratory?

30 Oct, 2024

There are those people in our lives who we connect with on certain holidays. When we think of Christmas, Hanukkah, or the 4th of July, this person comes to mind. It might be the cookies they baked, the blessing they said, or the fireworks show they were known for. Regardless of what they did, it is difficult to imagine the holiday without this person. Celebrating the holiday, especially for the first time, following their death can be hard. The goal is not to lose the celebratory nature of the holiday in the void created by the death of the person we loved. It is to incorporate the memory into the celebration of the holiday.

What Should Be Included in a Funeral Program?

26 Oct, 2024

There are so many aspects of putting together a funeral that it’s easy to overlook some things. But every element of funeral planning is vital for different reasons. One often-overlooked component is the funeral program.What exactly is a funeral program?And what do you find in one? What is a funeral program? Funeral programs serve the essential purposes of giving attendees information about the service and of being a tangible memento that honors the life of the decedent. These programs may be the size of one sheet of paper, a card, or a larger booklet. Most often, they are provided to funeral attendees either when they enter the room where the service will be held or placed on the seats before the guests arrive. What goes in a funeral program? Funeral programs can be as unique as the service itself, but there is a general order to what goes into these pages. Here’s what you may find in a funeral program: 1. A cover honoring the decedent The cover of a funeral program often consists of the name of the person whose life is being honored, a photo of them, and the years of their birth and death. Making a cover this way makes it clear whose service guests are attending. However, a cover may also consist of other elements that show more of the decedent’s personality. For instance, a funeral program’s cover may also have one of the decedent’s most beloved quotes, poems, prayers, or song lyrics. Just as an obituary doesn’t have to have a somber tone if the decedent was known for their humorous personality, it’s fitting to make the funeral program show off that personality. The cover is a good place to set that tone. 2. The obituary Within the pages of a funeral program, it’s customary to find the decedent’s obituary. Although you may have previously shared the obituary on your funeral home’s website, a website dedicated to obituaries, social media, local newspaper, or other locations, writing it in the funeral program helps to immortalize that spirit of your loved one. 3. Service information Because a funeral program is a memento of the service, it should include the service information. You’ll want to write the date, time, and location of where the funeral is being held. 4. Order of service As the name suggests, the order of service is the order in which the events of the service will be held. Some events may include the introduction, prayers, readings, musical performances, eulogies, additional speeches, and closing remarks. If you’re having a religious service, you may want to talk to a religious leader to ensure that your order of service fits the traditional funeral ceremony performed by that religion. For example, traditional Catholic funerals do not include a eulogy. Whether you’re holding a religious ceremony or not, you should also talk to your funeral director to make certain that you know the proper order of the service before writing the program. Alongside each element of the order of service, you should also write who is leading that portion of the service. 5. Where to find prayers, hymns, and scripture readings If you’re holding a religious service, you should include in the funeral program where to find prayers, hymns, and scripture readings. Doing so allows the guests to read and sing along when the time arrives. Especially if you’re expecting a large service, it may be hard for some guests to hear the officiant. By providing directions to where to find the readings, no guest will have to worry about missing important information. 6. Song or hymn lyrics Similarly to why you would provide where to find readings, you may want to write the lyrics to songs or hymns that you may wish the funeral-goers to sing along to. If anyone is unfamiliar with these songs or hymns, they will be grateful you provided the lyrics. Even if guests don’t sing along, these songs were chosen to be a part of the funeral for a reason. It’s meaningful for guests to be able to study those lyrics, which were important to the decedent or hold great significance. 7. Pallbearers and flower bearers While the names of the eulogists, singers, and other speakers will be included in the order of service, you may also want to share the names of the pallbearers and flower bearers in the funeral program. If you do choose to write them, you should remember to also include anyone who is an honorary pallbearer or flower bearer. 8. Additional service information If there’s a committal service or reception after the funeral, you should also share directions and information about these services. You should write when and where they will be held, as well as any additional pertinent information.