Join to see when we post new obituaries

Your email will not be used for any other purpose and will not be shared. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Please wait

Verifying your email address

Please wait

Unsubscribing your email address

You have been unsubscribed

You will no longer receive messages from our email mailing list.

You have been subscribed

Your email address has successfully been added to our mailing list.

Something went wrong

There was an error verifying your email address. Please try again later, or re-subscribe.

Talking with a Veteran

November 3, 2018

Talking with a veteran of the more recent wars or conflicts such as Vietnam, Afghanistan, or Iraq can be intimidating. You may have a parent or spouse who served in Vietnam who has never shared anything about their experience with you. The Vietnam War was different from wars in the past in that the value of the war itself was questioned and many of those who served came home to a hostile public. It was not a hero’s welcome. Their story may have been bottled up all these years and time is running out for families to learn about their loved one’s experience.

Since the Vietnam War, a small percentage of the U.S. population has served in our armed forces. This means the Vietnam experience is not shared by the broader population and those who did not serve can’t possibly understand what war is like. Not understanding can make us uncomfortable about starting a conversation.  As a result, veterans can feel isolated while we remain unaware.

How can we push past our discomfort? How can we talk with these people we love and appreciate about a period in their life that was so very important to them? It can be tricky depending on how well you know the veteran. Below you will find some tips to aid your conversation with a veteran:

  • During the discussion:
    • Take your time, go slow
    • Plan to LISTEN
    • Listen without comment or judgment
    • Listen to learn, not to tell.
  • Below are some suggestions you can ask:
    • Would be willing to talk with me about your experience?
    • What service were you in?
    • What inspired you to join?
    • What does your service mean to you?
    • Would you mind sharing what you are currently doing?
    • You may want to avoid some of the topics/questions below:
      • Don’t ask if they killed anyone or saw any dead bodies.
      • Don’t be surprised if they don’t want to talk.
      • Don’t ask about PTSD.
      • Don’t make it about you.
      • Don’t think you know what it is like to go to war unless you have been to war.

        • It is always a good idea to do your homework and study the war prior to your discussion. And most of all, express your appreciation for their time and service.

        Bissler & Sons Funeral Home and Crematory has served families in Kent, Ohio, and all of Portage County since 1913. The company transitioned ownership in 2018 when Rick Bissler retired and arranged to merge his family’s funeral home with the Billow family’s funeral homes, who carry on the tradition of high quality funeral, burial, memorial and cremation services. Their privately owned and operated crematory ensures that loved ones never leave their professional care. Visit bisslerandsons.com to learn more.

        What Are Burial Vaults and Grave Liners and Why Do I Have to Buy Them?

        February 4, 2025
        When saying goodbye to someone you love, you have a multitude of decisions to make. Some you might be prepared for, while other questions are new to you. One topic that many people are unfamiliar with is the concept of burial vaults and grave liners, which you may have to have in your loved one’s final resting place.

        Food and Funerals: The Comfort of Sharing a Meal

        February 4, 2025
        Food not only nourishes the body but also comforts the soul, making it a significant part of funeral traditions. Offering food signifies care and supports the healing journey during such tough times.

        Understanding Funeral Costs: A Guide to Planning with Care

        January 8, 2025
        When the time comes to think about funeral arrangements, one of the first questions many of us have is, "How much will it cost?" It’s natural to look for a straightforward answer during such an emotionally charged time. However, much like finding the perfect car, the cost of a funeral varies widely depending on personal choices and specific needs.

        What Is the Purpose of Embalming?

        January 8, 2025
        Embalming can be a controversial topic. Some people are opposed to it, whether due to personal or religious reasons, but for others, embalming is an important part of starting their grief journey and getting a chance to say goodbye to the person they love.

        Dressing for a Funeral: Comfort, Respect, and What to Wear

        January 8, 2025
        Attending a funeral is one of those things that makes everyone pause, not just because of the emotional weight, but also the big question: "What do I wear?" Let’s discuss.

        Embracing Family in Funeral Planning

        January 8, 2025
        When it comes time to say goodbye to a loved one, the focus of the funeral often naturally falls on the family. It's the people who loved and knew the deceased best—spouses, children, grandchildren, friends, and even coworkers—who come together to remember and honor their life.

        What’s the Difference Between a Family and Community Columbarium?

        December 3, 2024
        When people lose a loved one, many take comfort in knowing that there’s a place they can go to be with them. Cemeteries offer a location where loved ones can gather to be with those who are no longer with them in everyday life. In many ways, choosing to be buried or interred in a cemetery is a gift for those still living as it gives them a place to find you, knowing that you’re never really too far away.

        When Someone Dies, Someone Else Feels Lonely

        December 3, 2024
        The loneliness that accompanies the death of someone we care about is complex and individual. For those who, for many years, woke every morning alongside a husband or wife, it is strange to open your eyes and realize you’re alone. In the early days of grief, the void that is left when a life partner dies can feel like a black hole with no way out.

        I’m Lonely: When is Too Soon to Start Dating?

        November 12, 2024
        The answer to this question depends on who you ask. Queen Victoria famously mourned Prince Albert by wearing black for the remainder of her life, forty years. The fictional character Scarlet O’Hara in the novel Gone With the Wind scandalized her peers by dancing with a bachelor at a charity event while “still in black.”

        After the Death of a Spouse: 10 Things to Do BEFORE You Start Dating

        November 12, 2024
        Slow down and commit to investing some time in getting ready to date. A little preparation work will help you protect your safety, have a more pleasurable dating experience, and possibly avoid heartbreak.
        More Posts
        Share by: