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The First Thanksgiving Alone

October 31, 2024

Thanksgiving looks different to all different kinds of families, but it can also look different year after year. As family members grow up and have their own families, Thanksgiving celebrations may shrink. And as time goes on, the passing of family members can make those smaller Thanksgivings even more emotional. There may come a day when your Thanksgiving will be celebrated alone, which can trigger feelings of grief and loss. How can you navigate a Thanksgiving spent alone? There’s no wrong way, as long as you’re taking care of yourself.

What to Do When Spending Your First Thanksgiving Alone

1. Decide if you’d like to celebrate.

There’s no rule that says that you have to celebrate Thanksgiving. Sometimes, the most challenging part about the holidays is the expectation. We often remember images of what we think Thanksgiving is supposed to be like: an overflowing table with many family members seated around it, all smiling and having a wonderful time. We may even remember a time in our childhoods when our Thanksgiving dinner tables looked similar to those idyllic images.

But, more often than not, those images aren’t the reality for most people. You’re not alone if you don’t feel like celebrating when there aren’t others around. It’s okay not to want to put in the work to cook a large meal if you’re only the one eating it. There’s nothing wrong with deciding to skip the usual Thanksgiving traditions. On the other hand, if the traditions give you comfort, you may enjoy simply spending the holiday cooking. Only you can decide if you want to celebrate Thanksgiving when you’re alone.

2. Contact others who may also be alone for the holiday.

If you do decide to celebrate, remember that you may not be the only one celebrating alone. Perhaps a friend has recently been widowed, and their children live far away. Or maybe a recently divorced friend is spending the holiday alone because their children are with their ex-partner. Think about the people you know, and don’t be afraid to reach out and see what they’re up to.

Suggest a digital alternative if friends or family can’t gather in person. You could ask everyone to grab their favorite Thanksgiving foods and call into an online meeting platform, like Zoom. Even if you only chat for an hour out of the day, you may still enjoy having a little interaction with people you love during what otherwise may be a bit of a lonely day.

3. Volunteer.

Consider celebrating the holiday with people who may also be having a difficult day. Thanksgiving is one of the biggest volunteer days of the year, and the people who volunteer have the honor of helping those less fortunate have their own special holidays. When we volunteer, we’re helping others and helping ourselves. Volunteering our time releases dopamine, making us feel good about the good we’re doing. Seeing that what you’re doing is putting a smile on others’ faces will put a smile on yours.

Call around to your local food banks, soup kitchens, or places of worship and see who is in need of some help this holiday. When you’re spending a holiday alone, you may find it helpful to take your mind off the situation. Volunteering not only takes your mind off of the day but also puts the focus on someone else, making you feel good about your selfless act.

4. Treat yourself with something that you enjoy doing.

There are other ways to take your mind off the day besides volunteering, however. And especially if you’ve had a difficult time lately, it’s important that you’re taking care of yourself. One way to treat yourself to some essential self-care is by finding a way to put a smile on your own face. If you don’t want to think about the holiday, think about something that will occupy your body and mind in another way. What’s something you don’t often get to do that you really enjoy? Maybe you’ll spend the whole day curled up by the fire with a beloved pet and a good book. Or perhaps you’d rather spend your time in a fishing boat with the sun shining over the water, illuminating your day’s catches.

Be kind to yourself and let yourself indulge a little. Make a list of things you’d like to do that you don’t do every day, from activities to other treats, like your favorite chocolates. You deserve something that makes you feel good, so enjoy it all without a second thought.

5. Consider making preparations for the day with a professional.

Spending a holiday alone can be challenging, especially if you’re spending it alone because of the passing of a loved one. Sometimes, it’s best to be prepared for any emotions you face during that day. Talking to a mental health professional before the day arrives can help you combat your feelings as they arise. Before Thanksgiving comes around, schedule a meeting with a mental health professional and work with them to create a game plan for the holiday. You may feel better knowing that you’re facing the day with professional advice to help you navigate how you’re feeling.

Spending your first Thanksgiving alone can bring about a wealth of emotions. Especially if you’re spending it alone because of a loved one’s passing, you may feel more grief than you expect. But remember that there’s no wrong way to observe Thanksgiving alone, even if it means not celebrating at all. No matter what you choose to do, remember to be patient with yourself because ignoring or repressing your emotions may end up causing more harm in the long run. You’re allowed to grieve, even during a holiday.

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Honoring Military Heroes on Veterans Day

October 31, 2024

When we celebrate Veterans Day, we’re saying thank you to those who stood as our protectors. So, be sure to thank a veteran on Veterans Day, and thank those who sacrificed alongside them, like their families. The smallest actions, such as spending time sitting down with a veteran in a nursing home, can mean the most to these heroes.

How Can We Honor Our Family Member Who Died and Keep the Holiday Celebratory?

October 30, 2024

There are those people in our lives who we connect with on certain holidays. When we think of Christmas, Hanukkah, or the 4th of July, this person comes to mind. It might be the cookies they baked, the blessing they said, or the fireworks show they were known for. Regardless of what they did, it is difficult to imagine the holiday without this person. Celebrating the holiday, especially for the first time, following their death can be hard. The goal is not to lose the celebratory nature of the holiday in the void created by the death of the person we loved. It is to incorporate the memory into the celebration of the holiday.

What Should Be Included in a Funeral Program?

October 26, 2024

There are so many aspects of putting together a funeral that it’s easy to overlook some things. But every element of funeral planning is vital for different reasons. One often-overlooked component is the funeral program.What exactly is a funeral program?And what do you find in one? What is a funeral program? Funeral programs serve the essential purposes of giving attendees information about the service and of being a tangible memento that honors the life of the decedent. These programs may be the size of one sheet of paper, a card, or a larger booklet. Most often, they are provided to funeral attendees either when they enter the room where the service will be held or placed on the seats before the guests arrive. What goes in a funeral program? Funeral programs can be as unique as the service itself, but there is a general order to what goes into these pages. Here’s what you may find in a funeral program: 1. A cover honoring the decedent The cover of a funeral program often consists of the name of the person whose life is being honored, a photo of them, and the years of their birth and death. Making a cover this way makes it clear whose service guests are attending. However, a cover may also consist of other elements that show more of the decedent’s personality. For instance, a funeral program’s cover may also have one of the decedent’s most beloved quotes, poems, prayers, or song lyrics. Just as an obituary doesn’t have to have a somber tone if the decedent was known for their humorous personality, it’s fitting to make the funeral program show off that personality. The cover is a good place to set that tone. 2. The obituary Within the pages of a funeral program, it’s customary to find the decedent’s obituary. Although you may have previously shared the obituary on your funeral home’s website, a website dedicated to obituaries, social media, local newspaper, or other locations, writing it in the funeral program helps to immortalize that spirit of your loved one. 3. Service information Because a funeral program is a memento of the service, it should include the service information. You’ll want to write the date, time, and location of where the funeral is being held. 4. Order of service As the name suggests, the order of service is the order in which the events of the service will be held. Some events may include the introduction, prayers, readings, musical performances, eulogies, additional speeches, and closing remarks. If you’re having a religious service, you may want to talk to a religious leader to ensure that your order of service fits the traditional funeral ceremony performed by that religion. For example, traditional Catholic funerals do not include a eulogy. Whether you’re holding a religious ceremony or not, you should also talk to your funeral director to make certain that you know the proper order of the service before writing the program. Alongside each element of the order of service, you should also write who is leading that portion of the service. 5. Where to find prayers, hymns, and scripture readings If you’re holding a religious service, you should include in the funeral program where to find prayers, hymns, and scripture readings. Doing so allows the guests to read and sing along when the time arrives. Especially if you’re expecting a large service, it may be hard for some guests to hear the officiant. By providing directions to where to find the readings, no guest will have to worry about missing important information. 6. Song or hymn lyrics Similarly to why you would provide where to find readings, you may want to write the lyrics to songs or hymns that you may wish the funeral-goers to sing along to. If anyone is unfamiliar with these songs or hymns, they will be grateful you provided the lyrics. Even if guests don’t sing along, these songs were chosen to be a part of the funeral for a reason. It’s meaningful for guests to be able to study those lyrics, which were important to the decedent or hold great significance. 7. Pallbearers and flower bearers While the names of the eulogists, singers, and other speakers will be included in the order of service, you may also want to share the names of the pallbearers and flower bearers in the funeral program. If you do choose to write them, you should remember to also include anyone who is an honorary pallbearer or flower bearer. 8. Additional service information If there’s a committal service or reception after the funeral, you should also share directions and information about these services. You should write when and where they will be held, as well as any additional pertinent information.